There
are many Nancy’s within the inner workings of the Christ the King ministry
alone, not to mention in all of Athens, but Nancy Sand will always tend to
stick out a little. She’s a short woman reaching her middle age, but her
personality and unique aura more than make up for her size. With eyes that are intensely
green but constantly hidden behind oval frames, Nancy has an almost
intimidating way of evaluating me whenever I speak with her. Despite her
unreadable expressions, the lines spider-webbing from the corner of her eyes
and mouth betray just how easily she can be made to laugh and melt the
intimidating first impressions. Though not a hardened monster, Nancy is also
clearly a woman of many years experience, with her gray short-cut hair and
general motherly air. When she speaks, her voice demands attention and her tone
makes the listener believe that whatever she might have to say, it would be
worth taking note.
Short
and motherly though she may be, Nancy is a woman built stoutly and constantly
seems ready to take on the world. Even people who see her regularly will admit
to rarely seeing Nancy in clothes other than dark pants, a t-shirt, and a
hoodie over top; her feet will always have a pair of sneakers on them, as if
she’s ready to march off at any moment. Nancy’s voice is mostly indefinable, besides
being louder than normal and authoritative. It’s not uncommon for her voice to
crack as she grabs the attention of the students she’s constantly in contact
with. If her voice isn’t enough to take a person in, her sweeping gestures with
her arms will do the job—though she always keeps her arms carefully close to
her own body, as if in the motion of cradling a child.
I love the sense of her authority. I do think you could bring her out more visually like describe her skin color, eyes, maybe even hands. I also love the idea of "Tho she is little, she be fierce," which I think is a great start to short essay. Interesting to see more!
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you focused so much on her voice. It sets up a great effect, with her short height yet powerful voice. The clothes section is quick and to-the-point, and I think that's essentially all that needs to be said in that category. As Danielle pointed out, going even further in-depth to describe aspects of skin such as color would paint a more vivid picture.
ReplyDeleteYou do a good job of explaining what she looks like. I am really able to get a mental picture from this piece. What stood out to me is when you talk about her evaluating you when you talk. Insight into that would be a great addition!
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteI love that last line. And I like much of this, in fact. I think you might do better to begin with "With eyes that are. . ."
Meanwhile, though Nancy is a wonderful person and you're sure to find out a lot about her, I wonder if the thrust of this profile will come from something about you. Maybe not. Maybe you'll find the challenge in her life that will drive the story. But maybe you'll be able to write about your faith while writing about her. Or perhaps even your upcoming marriage. . .
Just ideas.
Dave
I like your descriptions of this lady. They really help the reader think about the kind of person that she is. I think that I would like to know more about the contrast between her intimidating qualities and her motherly qualities though, so maybe dive into that a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteThis is all Nancy. I think you should talk about her hugs, too. They are very nice.
ReplyDelete