I have learned that I can be easily annoyed by many things. When I can hear people talking over the sound of music pulsing through my headphones, I become irrationally angry. No matter how loud I turn the music up after that first intrusion, I will always imagine I can hear all the outsiders instead. I dislike the sound of chewing when somebody takes too large of a mouthful at dinner. Constant sniffling causes my fingernails to cut crescent shapes into my palms; why can't you grab a tissue? Don't you know sniffing will only keep you congested, and then you will have more problems? Sometimes the constant rubbing of my fingers against one another burrows deep inside me a feeling of unrest and disgust, until I must separate them as far apart as I can while trying to find something else to occupy my mind.
Mostly, my blood begins to pump as a piece of writing pulls forth from me things I don't want to give up. How dare I become attached to something so unreal, so impossible, so lovely. It is not fair that someone is able to make me feel things I do not want to, make me thinks things I should not, make me want things that shall never be. Fictional characters, fake worlds, and alternate realities: all dangerous, all unforgiving.
I suppose I just dislike emotion.
I am with you there, feelings are the worst! I think it would be interesting to learn more about why these things bother you.
ReplyDelete"Feelings are the worst." Somehow this is both hilarious overstatement and hilarious understatement.
DeleteTo me it just seems like you hate sounds...and emotions. Haha.
ReplyDeleteYour voice is really strong in this piece, and I don't know if it's because I know you so well I can just read it and hear your voice or because it's that good.
I'm going to assume it's because it's just that good.
The second paragraph was particularly "lovely" to me. I think we can all relate to an experience like that. Actually, I'd like to see you expand on that someday. Why is it dangerous? What's so unforgiving about a fictional story that tugs at your heartstrings? Let me see a little more of that emotion you hate so much. ;)
All in all, good work, Em.
I really like how this isn't just a list, but a more thought-out piece. The first paragraph is really great and specific, with an excellent use of unique descriptions. The second paragraph is pretty good as well, but it feels a tad broader (or less honed-in) than the first. The last sentences give some examples, but it would really personalize the piece with specific fictional characters and fake worlds.
ReplyDeleteI like the part about turning you music up to not listen to people, I can relate especially when studying. I also liked the part about describing you attachment to your writing, it gave the readers a piece of your personality. One thing that you could work on is the flow. It felt kind of choppy when you started to talk about your writing. Very amusing!
ReplyDeleteI like that you listed the things you dislike within the context of what you were writing as opposed to just making a list that says "I hate this and I hate that." Also, I enjoyed your descriptions of irrational dislikes. I commonly have that problem of things irrationally making me angry, but I'm not very good at describing why I am angry.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, focusing on the emotion bit and especially the portions about writing and reading I am curious as to what purpose books and writing serve for you? Do you read and write as an emotional outlet or not? I guess I'm confused because I feel like what is the point if it doesn't make you feel?
I understand the want for emotional repression though. I like to push things aside and keep barreling through life as opposed to just dealing with my feelings head on.
Yeah. The last two paragraphs bring up some stuff that's definitely clearer to Emily than it is to us. But that doesn't mean it's not good stuff.
DeleteI want to know whether it's in reading or writing that these emotions come out more. What's the experience of being manipulated/effected by writing. What's an example? When has this changed your day, your mood? Are you especially susceptible to this?
I think these are valid questions, and I didn't realize with my wording that the second paragraph sort of comes off like my own writing does those things! I was mostly thinking from a readers perspective, but now I'd definitely like to expand on what exactly reading emotional things does to me, and what writing things does to me, and how both of these things mold my thoughts and behaviors.
DeleteI really like how you put this in a nice structured paragraph instead of just a list. I also like how you describe what you do/think when this stuff bothers you, not just listing and complaining about it like I did!
ReplyDelete